Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Indie Boys are Ghey

First of all, this is not an attack of the indie genre of music, the majority is not to my taste, but each to their own.

I have noticed that there a severe lack of men in indie music anymore. Instead we have boys. Indie boys. There is nothing manly about these "males" at all. They stand ill nourished in their tight jeans, tight bright coloured t-shirts (usually pink. ooooo, intimidating) and designer hair cuts. They all look exactly the same but still sit there saying "being indie allows me to express myself as an individual." They know all about, and follow, all the latest trends in fashion and music and celebrity gossip, yet still have the nerve to call themselves non-conformists. It is clear by looking at any indie guy that their balls are yet to drop, and by the looks of most of them, probably never will.

These boys have no idea what men are, and would shit themselves if they ever spoke to someone with underarm hair. I will safely bet none of them have ever done a day of hard labor. The closest any of them would have gotten to sweat is from their hourly masturbating to their own reflection.

Now, I am not a shovanist guy, at all. But I take pride in expressing my masculinity in more traditional ways, such as leaving prettiness, glamour, beauty and the like to the other sex. They are better at it. But I am seeing too many indie boys trying to tell us "I'm so manly I can wear pink neon vests." F*#k off! Men are hairy, lumpy, fat and ugly. We reek of B.O. and are proud. It is what separates us from women.

Take the perfect example, Patrick Wolf.

Now, I have watched the blog below titled Continuation of the love of Ms. Patrick Wolf. To Lesley (who tried to argue against me on several different occasions), no, this boy is not beautiful. He is not
a man. You were right in that he would never have B.O., this is because he is yet to develop any form of testosterone.

This is a guy who has nothing going for him in terms of masculinity. A scrawny, punsey little dweeb who has serious gender issues. This concert is not a musical performance but a strip show. Where is the talent? If all you need to draw a crowd is to take off your clothes then I have been seriously lied to. What would happen to real musicians and performers with actual talent and who actually think about their performance technique get their fans by stripping down if they were to follow this lead? What would happen if Kerry King decided he would help his performance by stripping down? I dont think he would have the same respect he has obtained in the music industry (although it is amusing to consider).

Where is the masculinity? I am seeing pleanty of femininity, but nothing that suggests he has any pubes.

Wolf boy is no better then Kylie or Paris Hilton, using their feminine essence and lack of modesty to attract their audience. Where is the imagination? Where is the talent? Where is the f*#king credibility? I am seeing none.

Don't get me wrong, there are pleanty of indie bands with tones of talent. The Strokes are a great example. A bunch of butt ugly guys getting an audience due to song writing ability alone. I think Patrick wolf and The Wombats should take some tips from The Strokes. (Slayer would be better, but hey, you can't have it all.)

In conclusion, indie boys are ghey.

-Gabe

17 comments:

tegaN said...

hahahahahahahaha hilarious!
nice debut blog gabe

Anonymous said...

omg you did not just call the strokes butt ugly
albert maybe...nikolai has a frankenstein vibe going on but fab and jules and nick = gorgeous!

Gabe's One said...

Thanks! It came straight from the heart. Now to await the responses of some of our less understanding friends.

Gabe's One said...

they are ugly. talented, but ugly.

Trashionista said...

I'm just trying to apply my extensive knowledge of cultural stereotypes and gross generalizations to analyze your behavior.
ALSO: I am fearing for my life...

Gabe's One said...

so long as you are afraid, all is well.

asha-niketan said...

Comparing Patrick Wolf to Paris Hilton and Kylie is quite unfair. Yes, they may share feminine looks but do you think Kylie or paris ever picked up and instrument and wrote a song? Also; unless all those people were 'just randomly standing there' then i'm sure he didn't just draw a crowd due to his on stage stripping. Also: The Strokes are not all ugly.
Also:I don't find the Wombats attractive at all, so there goes that theory.

And lastly: slayer is shit :) ha ha

Nice first post though...

tegaN said...

and this all started because i posted a myspace bulletin entitled 'I LOVE INDIE BOYS' [coincidently an ad for homecoming]

asha-niketan said...

Yeh it IS quite hilarious...

Lesley said...

I'm not taking any of this seriously. Mainly since you are speaking without an real knowledge on the subject.

The only thing I feel the need to directly reply to is this quote

"This concert is not a musical performance but a strip show."

The "strip show" you are referring to is a performnce. The song being performed is 'Childcatcher' and it is about sexual abuse. Many of Wolf's songs have a great deal of meaning and feeling behind them and this little "strip show" as you call it is meant to be satirical and ironic.

Gabe's One said...

i never questioned Ms. Wolf's song writing ability. i am attacking his credibility as a performer.

well, as long as i got a laugh, my duty is done.

Gabe's One said...

of course it is, lesley, that why you sit there drooling over it with every passing moment.

asha-niketan said...

AH HA AH AH AH AH AH AHA HA HAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA

this is lame.. new topic plz

Gabe's One said...

and i would just like to remind you that i was not attacking the music at all. i have full respect to the music. im attacking the trend.

Julian H said...

This is a huge generalisation and a disgusting stereotype of both "indie boys" and what you percieve to be "real men".
The insinuation that every single "indie boy" is fake and following trend is a little pathetic. There are no doubt some who have follow trends but this isn't isolated to the Indie scene, every single 'scene/group/minority/majority' in society follows trends of some kind at some stage. If you stay liking the same thing forever and close your mind to new things you are at risk of becoming stangant, bitter and boring.
Your qualms with Patrick Wolf are a whole seperate entity... your attacks on his abilities as a performer and musician [which you appear to have retracted after a few defensive posts] seem to stem from the inability to understand how a "man" who has so many seemingly feminine attributes can still attract so much female attention, jealousy pehaps? He is someone comfortable about who he is [and if you learn about his childhood and early teenage years that is a massive step].
Each to their own I suppose... while some may find Patrick's theatrical stage antics distasteful others may find it beautiful.

Gabe's One said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Gabe's One said...

IMPORTANT:

this post was purely comical. no offense was intended. i am a very understanding and open minded man. my best friends are all indie kids and i love them to bits. but i also love giving them a hard time.

the main point of this post was to create a stir and a bit of controversy rather then the same admiring some hot skinny guy in every second post. and i have created controversy, so all is well.

again, this is all in the name of humour, not to be taken seriously. but thanks for reading and responding. just shows that tune fm holds a variety of personalities!!

-Gabe

PS, yes, there is a bit of jealousy involved, and i like to turn it into angry rants.